Language has patterns. So does harm.
A behavior-based emotional abuse detector that sees what others miss.
Tether is a reflection tool, not a diagnostic service. No data is stored or shared.
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About Tether
Tether is a behaviorally informed abuse pattern detector. It analyzes written language for subtle patterns of control, manipulation, and emotional harm — including gaslighting, blame-shifting, and DARVO cycles.It’s built for survivors, therapists, support networks, and anyone who’s ever asked:
“Is this normal?”
Tether is the first AI system built on Applied Behavioral Linguistics—an approach that decodes the function of language, not just the words. It reveals patterns like gaslighting, blame-shifting, and coercive warmth by asking: What is this message trying to do? Is it flipping blame, dodging accountability, or escalating control?Tether analyzes tone, behavioral function, emotional manipulation, and risk—all to make the invisible visible.
It’s not just abuse detection. It’s behavior, revealed.
What Won't Work
| Couples Counseling | Behavior Contracts | Forgiveness Frameworks | "Better Communication” Advice | Waiting for Rock Bottom |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| In abusive dynamics, therapy can become a tool for manipulation. The abuser may perform well in front of a therapist, shift blame, or use therapy language to gaslight or control. Joint counseling can make survivors feel invalidated or pressured to “compromise” when the real issue is power imbalance—not communication. | Behavior contracts are often suggested as a structured way to promote change. But in abusive relationships, contracts are often ignored, twisted into weapons (“you said YOU wouldn’t do XYZ either”), or used to show surface compliance without real accountability or change.Survivors are often encouraged to forgive too soon or without real repair. | Forgiveness without justice or safety can retraumatize, silence pain, and enable repeat harm. | Abuse is not a communication problem—it’s a control problem. Communication tools like “I statements” or “active listening” can be used against survivors or weaponized to create false equivalency. | Many survivors wait, hoping things will finally hit a breaking point. But for chronic abusers, there often is no rock bottom—only a new form of harm. Your safety doesn’t have to wait for their collapse. |
Abuser Profiles
| The Power-Controller | The Exploder | The Victim Narcissist | The Situational Abuser | The Dependent Possessor | The Enforcer | The Overcorrector |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Control is the goal. Compliance is the currency. Uses threats, manipulation, or surveillance to maintain total dominance. Often appears calm or rational, but controls every detail behind closed doors. | Unpredictable. Volatile. Apologetic until the next time. Anger outbursts are used to intimidate or silence. May seem remorseful afterward but rarely takes real accountability. | Weaponizes sympathy. Always the one who’s “really hurting.” Uses DARVO, guilt-tripping, or false accusations to reverse blame and avoid consequences. | “It only happens when…” isn’t the same as safe. | Harm tied to specific stressors or conflict, but still abusive. Often denies a pattern exists. | “I can’t live without you” becomes control. Uses emotional blackmail, jealousy, and intense dependency to manipulate. | Rigid beliefs. Entitled to obedience. Uses ideology (gender roles, religion, “rules”) to justify abuse. Uses punishment to “fix” their partner.Sees themselves as a righteous judge. Corrects behavior with shame or criticism. |
Most abusers are not just one type. These profiles describe behavior patterns, not diagnoses. Many overlap or shift over time. The goal of this guide is clarity, not categorization.
🔒 Data Use & PrivacyTether does not store, save, or transmit any messages. All analysis runs locally in your browser or through Hugging Face’s secure API.No identifying information is ever collected, stored, or shared.Training data included real messages from known abuse cases (used with consent), including the creator’s own experience. The tool was built to illuminate patterns, not to surveil.❤️ Your data never leaves your screen.